Living In a Sexless Marriage? Here ‘s How To Create The Prince Charming You Planned To Marry

The Indisputable Power of a Woman-written by a man

Why is it that men don’t change after marriage,  ekszer-elekbut women do? In the process of answering this question we will draw one conclusion that will be the elephant in the room: The power of a woman to create the man of her dreams is indisputable.

To answer this profound question, let’s look at the “inner workings” of a woman. When women are single and searching for a man, this “mystery man” is often referred to as “Mr. right”. You could even say that the foremost question on a single woman’s mind (when she’s looking for a man) is “When is Mr. Right going to come along?”

Women enter relationships with an idealistic vision of what her “soul mate” will look, act and treat her like. And why shouldn’t she? From an early age, as a little girl, she reads story tales about a “Night in Shining Armor” rescuing the princess from an Evil villain. Little girls adore the idea of being a princess and even at a young age, many even fantasize about their wedding day! gudu

When women are dating, they use all of their assets to attract a man. They put careful detail into wearing the right sexy outfit, the right perfume, and try their best to keep the atmosphere light, fun and full of excitement. Women do all of this because their plan – their mission, is to find the man who will give them emotional and financial security. (This is a deep-seeded need of all women, not necessarily something they consciously think about.) hobbijaim

During the dating stage of a relationship however, these two needs are secondary.

A woman’s “public” goal during her dating life is to find a guy who is “nice” and “fun”. That’s her public goal. It’s what she says SAYS wants, but that’s not close to her true mission. A smart woman brings excitement into the relationship when dating because she knows that’s what will maintain the chemistry between them.

Then the day comes when the wedding photos arrive and life begins. Life becomes overwhelming. All the fun and excitement in the pre-marriage relationship has now come to a slow, and grinding stop. receptek

With all the chemistry slowly seeping out of the relationship, a woman’s goal is now to “develop” her man into someone who will give her emotional and financial security. It’s her unspoken expectation. (That even women don’t realize they want.)

In married life, every effort her husband makes dismally fails to meet this expectation and instead creates frustration, resentment and mixed feelings. All she ever wanted, she reasons, is for her husband to make her feel safe so she can build her ideal life and family. olcsobbszerviz

But to her surprise, the man she marries STILL craves the fun and excitement from back when they were dating. Unfortunately for both of them, his inability to explain this need and her inability to remember what she used to do during the dating days, combines to create a new tension in the relationship that did not exist before.

In a man’s mind, he fears that if he speaks up and tells his wife that he misses the fun-filled exciting woman she used to be, she’ll become offended and “chew his head off”. After all, she’s exhausted after she fulfills her long list of daily tasks, let alone cater to her husband’s every need.

Her husband now feels like he’s still on her priority list, but somewhere way down towards the bottom. This feeling, this belief, does BAD THINGS for a man’s confidence.

Women who know how to maintain the excitement in their marriage are few and far between….especially after being married for 5+ years. This is obviously not about “giving your husband sex”. Sex is not what he actually wants (whether he knows it or not). What every (or the great majority of men) want is for his beautiful woman to thrill him with the idea that he excites her.

A woman’s power to communicate “you excite me” is all a man needs to become totally dedicated to his woman.

Any woman who dresses and acts in a way that lets her man know he could excite her sexually, touches a man in a place where he believes he can conquer the world for her. Any wish, need or slight desire she might express, will send him on a mission to fulfill her greatest wishes.

But in order to do this, you must put all the resentment aside if you want your husband to be 100% devoted to you. If you’re willing to take this first step, you’ll find these kind of results becoming reality…

…You want your husband to stop talking or looking at the woman who lives next door? Done!

…You want him to go to his boss and get a raise? Not a problem!

…You want more time to yourself away from the house and other responsibilities? You’ve got it!

If you are a woman reading this right now, you might wonder HOW you can discover your husband’s deepest desires.

Despite what most people think, the simple act of marriage does NOT guarantee a man or a woman’s devotion to you. When resentment, selfishness and “what’s in it for me” takes precedence over “to love and honor til death do us part”, ALL BETS ARE OFF.

And here’s what YOU, as a woman, can do about it…

You could learn of your husband’s desires through a hand written note, a phone call, an email or even a long talk face-to-face.

Women “in the know” let it be known to their husband that he will never be “verbally attacked” for any desire he might express.

When you know your husband’s inner-most desires, it’s time for him to learn how to fulfill YOU as a woman!

You could start by describing in a playful way, what would make you really happy….

These are tasks that only your HUSBAND can fulfill. You might describe a day that starts with the breakfast in bed for you and the kids. Then throughout the day, your husband empties the garbage, cleans up after pets, repairs a broken step and then takes the kids down to the pool till noon.

You could excitedly chatter on about how might make plans for the babysitter to arrive at 7:00pm, so the two of you can have an evening of “alone time” at one of your favorite restaurants.

There, your husband would playfully dote over you and gaze at you across the table as if you were the only woman left in the world. By the end of the evening, it would be clear to you that no other woman in the world even COMPARES to you!

If your marriage is suffering and the two of you have lost the close connection you once had, it wouldn’t hurt to try this out for yourself.

Here’s what all this boils down to: When a wife explains how her husband can excite her, there are no words to describe what happens in her man. “Amazing”, “Profound” and “Awesome” all fall short. This is the power that only a woman has to profoundly move her husband toward an almost blind loyalty.

Just the fact that she genuinely wanted to hear his desires (in a playful and intriguing way) sends him in a totally new direction. Toward HER! Not to his friends, not to his golf game, not to his coaching, not to his career success…TO HER!

Now there is one word of caution I must point out: When marriages are failing, there is so much resentment built up in the relationship, that even when you try this technique, you may not see the results you originally hoped for.

You must also clean up “past hurts” with a “sweep away day”. Before you can take action on the technique above, the pain that you both inflicted upon each other at some point in the past must be faced, admitted and forgiven.

This is an act for a separate day. Before you undertake your “sweep away day”, you must know something about men.

Men are emotionally insecure in all but the rarest cases. When it comes to emotions, men know virtually nothing about their own feelings. Because feelings are something most men cannot process, talk about or understand, it’s easy for a man to be full of FEAR.

Most often, a man will disguise his fear under blame, cruel jokes, accusations or broadcasting what’s wrong with you to the world or worse…he could ignore you completely. No matter what the bad behavior, know this: Your man is dreadfully afraid of being rejected by you. If you’ve been treated badly, his fear of rejection is behind it all.

Men have no ability to feel fearless when it comes to the subject of learning how to make you happy. It’s such a risky subject with so many possibilities of rejection that most men decide to never even approach it. They unconsciously think it’s far better to stay on the safe subjects of kids doing homework, new job opportunities or asking why you forgot to buy the peanut butter than face up to the reality of your rejection.

I hope you’re beginning to see that a woman has an indisputable power to create the man of her dreams. A man has virtually no power to create the woman of his dreams. He wouldn’t even know where to begin.

To become one of these rare “women in the know” follow this action plan below:

Step 1: Plan your “sweep away day” and admit how you might have hurt him in the past. Admit it, ask his forgiveness and sweep it away. Next, ask him if he has anything he wants to share with you, but don’t push. Let him forgive and forget for awhile. Get back to the business of living but begin planning how you are going to approach him to discover his inner-most desires and wishes. Be sure to speak to him with a playful sense of excitement in your voice. Just get him to look forward to it.

Step 2: Plan the day you will learn about his desires. When you finish hearing about his desires and you’ve reacted to what he says with playfulness and smiles, ask him if he wants to learn how to turn you on completely. Share this with him when he enthusiastically wants to hear the answer. It’s really important to inject a certain level of playfulness in this – don’t just rattle off your list.

Step 3: Once you know what he wants and he knows what you want, begin to talk about a planned date on the calendar when YOU will get the day that you want and HE will get the night he won’t forget.

But always remember: Be fun, be playful and create exciting expectations during these conversations. You love this man, right? SO SHOW IT! Before your big day, get your husband to once again share his desires through phone calls and emails. You will also be sharing what you talked about as well. Remember: It all leads up to your husband hearing you say what all men dream of… “You excite me”.

Step 4: On the big day, watch him work! See how motivated he is to do all you’ve talked about over the past few weeks. NEVER criticize anything he does. Support his intent, not his execution. Notice all he does and compliment him. Be playful with little kisses, little hugs, and little hints of encouragement all day. On the big day, let yourself go. This is the man who wants to fulfill you. Let him.

 

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